Navigating The Gap in Music Practice and Performance
Picture this…
You’re sitting down to practise, determined and ready to fix a tricky passage and finally bring it up to tempo. You’ve been working on this section for a little while and have it mostly under your fingers. You can clearly imagine what you want the music to sound like, and can hear every note in fine detail. In this practice session, you expect things to click pretty quickly. But when you play, the reality doesn’t match up. Notes slip, rhythms falter, and your frustration level rises, leaving you feeling stuck and uncertain. The thought of “I can’t do this!” creeps in…
That uncomfortable space between what you expected and what actually happened is what I call The Gap. This is a normal, natural, and unavoidable situation for every musician.
Musical development often doesn’t happen in a consistent, linear way – you’re bound to experience plateaus and difficulties throughout your musical journey from time to time. The challenge lies not in avoiding The Gap, but in learning how to respond when reality doesn’t meet your expectations.
So when there is a gap between expectation and reality, how do you turn it into a tool for growth rather than a source of frustration and discouragement?
What is The Gap?
The Gap represents the difference between expectation (what you believe should happen) and reality (what actually occurs when you practise or perform). It is a conceptual space that highlights the distance between where you think your knowledge, skills, or abilities should be, and the reality of where you actually stand. This is why The Gap can be confronting for many musicians, as you are forced to examine your shortcomings and realise when you are not meeting your own lofty expectations.
But it’s not our expectations that are the problem. Everyone sets expectations, whether it is the belief that an hour of practice will finally fix a particular passage, the hope that weeks of rehearsal will result in a flawless performance, or the wish that nerves will vanish on stage. The real issue is when reality does not align with these expectations, and unhelpful thoughts and emotions quickly overcome us. Feelings of judgement arise, whispering in your mind, “I should be better than this.” Fear creeps in with thoughts like, “What if I mess up in the concert too?” Shame reminds you that other people might be progressing faster. Guilt tells you that you did not prepare enough. Frustration and confusion insist, “Why can’t I get this right!?” These emotions are a normal part of the learning process, but they can hold us back if we cling to them as if they were permanent truths.
Violin pedagogue Mimi Zweig offers a helpful perspective:
“Mistakes are neither good nor bad,
they are just information.”
Viewed in this light, The Gap is not proof of failure but a form of feedback that tells you what worked, what didn’t, and what might need adjustment.
Why The Gap Matters
Understanding The Gap is critical because if you treat your unmet expectations as evidence of personal failure, it can significantly hold back your learning and growth. If you interpret frustration or shame as a signal that you are “not good enough,” or “you don’t have what it takes”, you risk avoiding practice, losing motivation, or adopting harsh self-talk that undermines your confidence and development.
A simple yet powerful idea from sports psychology can shift this perspective:
“Blame the strategy, not the player.”
When your results do not meet expectations, it does not mean you are broken or “not talented enough” – it simply means the approach you are using requires adjustment. Research reinforces this approach and gives us clues on tackling The Gap in practice sessions. Barry Zimmerman (2002) demonstrated that expert learners actively monitor their performance, detect mismatches between their expectations and reality, and adapt their strategies accordingly. Similarly, Ericsson and colleagues (1993) highlighted the role of deliberate practice, showing that improvement depends on identifying weaknesses and targeting them with focused strategies.
Consider two students preparing for a recital who face the same challenge of repeatedly missing notes in one section of music:
Student A concludes, “I’m terrible. I’ll never get it,” and avoids practising the section. They fill The Gap with harsh self-judgement, disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt.
Student B, on the other hand, thinks, “Okay, why can’t I play this section? My fingering isn’t consistent at tempo, so what strategy should I use to improve this?” They slowed the passage down, experimented with different finger placement, practised varying their repetitions to create desirable difficulty, and improved their technique so they could play the section accurately. They filled The Gap with curiosity and openness and came up with more effective practice strategies to try out.
Both students encountered The Gap, however, only one of them chose to utilise this awareness as valuable information to guide their personal growth and development. The other student may have simply acknowledged The Gap without taking strategic action to improve themselves. This distinction highlights the importance of not just recognising areas for improvement but also applying that understanding to facilitate continuous progress.
Expectations vs Aspirations
Separating aspirations from expectations can also help musicians navigate The Gap more effectively.
Aspirations represent long-term hopes and dreams, such as pursuing a professional career, securing a permanent position in an orchestra, or mastering a specific piece. Aspirations provide energy, motivation, and direction.
Expectations, by contrast, are short-term predictions and beliefs about what should happen in the near-present moment, such as nailing a passage flawlessly in one rehearsal or executing a difficult solo confidently on stage.
Aspirations are powerful because they inspire persistence and can help fuel that inner fire over the weeks, months, and years of work in the practice room. But expectations can backfire if they are rigid or unsupported by effective strategies. For example, an aspiring professional musician may expect to play a concerto movement flawlessly in a performance. But without solid, tried-and-tested strategies put in place, this expectation can create unnecessary pressure and self-criticism. By employing effective practice and performance strategies, such as breaking the movement into smaller sections, practising slowly and building up tempo gradually, focusing on one technical challenge at a time, and incorporating performance cues into the music, the expectation becomes actionable rather than filled with pressure. Performance becomes less about hoping to play well and more about focusing on effective strategies to perform well.
Research by Khattab (2015) highlights that aspirations fuel motivation and persistence, while unrealistic expectations not backed by effective strategies can undermine confidence. The key is to maintain ambitious aspirations while pairing short-term expectations with clear strategies that guide your progress.
Mind The Gap: An ACT Approach
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) provides a framework for navigating the difficult emotions that naturally arise in The Gap. ACT does not aim to eliminate frustration, shame, fear, or guilt. Instead, it teaches musicians to Notice these feelings, Name them, and then Choose a response that will help them move in a more helpful and productive direction.
For example, when a missed note triggers frustration during practice, you can pause and say to yourself, “I notice that I’m feeling frustrated,” and then ask, “What adjustment can I make to my approach?”
Similarly, after a shaky performance, feelings of shame might surface. By acknowledging them by saying to yourself, “I’m noticing that I’m feeling shame right now”, you create greater self-awareness, which can give you the mental space and flexibility to ask, “What can I learn from this performance that will help me improve? What knowledge or experience have I gained as a result of this performance?” This approach prevents emotions from dominating your actions while allowing them to inform your next steps.
Viktor Frankl captures the concept of The Gap beautifully in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, and in the following quote:
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
The Gap is exactly that space, and the power to respond thoughtfully, whatever the outcome, is where learning and growth can occur.
Bridging The Gap with Flow
Steven Kotler’s research on Flow Theory provides another practical approach to transforming The Gap into productive engagement. Flow is the state where skill and challenge are balanced, and you feel fully absorbed in what you are doing. The Gap often pushes you out of this balance because the challenge seems greater than your current skills, triggering frustration, anxiety, or self-doubt.
Kotler identifies five motivators that can help you regain Flow in the moment: Curiosity, Passion, Purpose, Autonomy, and Mastery.
We can use these motivators to fill The Gap by using reflective questions to guide productive responses:
Curiosity: “What just happened? How come I fell short of my expectations? I wonder what I missed in my preparation?”
Passion: “What excites me about this piece? Why do I love making music?”
Purpose: “Why am I performing? Am I here to impress, or to share music with others?”
Autonomy: “What choices are available to me right now? What is within my control?”
Mastery: “What step moves me forward today? Which strategies are working, and which ones need adjusting?”
Instead of getting trapped in self-criticism, pausing to name the emotion and asking one of these questions can transform frustration into learning. The Gap becomes a feedback loop rather than a source of discouragement, guiding you back to the balance between skill and challenge where learning and enjoyment thrive.
Practical Strategies You Can Use 🛠
Here are actionable ways to put these concepts into practice in your daily musical work and help you manage The Gap:
✅ Notice and name your feelings: Say to yourself, “I’m noticing that I’m frustrated” or “I’m feeling shame right now.” This step provides you with some distance and perspective from your emotions, making it easier to make conscious choices rather than getting caught up in the emotion and acting purely on instinct. 👂 ✋ 👁
✅ Shift to a helpful question: Move on from self-judgment to curiosity. After noticing and naming your feelings, ask yourself some higher-quality questions, such as, “Why didn’t I meet my performance expectation? What got in the way? What strategy can I test out to improve my performance for next time?” ➡️ 👍
✅ Blame the strategy, not the player: Missed notes, uneven rhythms, or poor execution are feedback about your method, not your worth as a musician. Adjust your strategic approach, rather than internalising failure, and you’ll be heading in the right direction in no time! 👏
✅ Keep a practice journal: Record both what you tried and how it felt, noting successes, setbacks, and any reflections that came to mind. Take note of when difficult thoughts and feelings arose, and your response to them. This kind of journaling helps you track patterns and identify effective strategies that can be used in the future. 📝
✅ Record and reflect: Listening back to recordings gives concrete data for improvement. Identify one variable to adjust at a time, whether tempo, articulation, or phrasing. See my blog 11 Steps to Maximise Your Self-Recording Process as a Musician for more details. 🎙
✅ Use micro-goals: Focus on one bar, one rhythm, or one shift at a time. Incremental progress compounds over time. This gives you plenty of opportunities to fill The Gap with helpful and productive options throughout your practice sessions. 🎯
✅ Balance short- and long-term focus: In the present moment, notice your feelings, ask yourself productive questions, and adjust your strategies. Over weeks and months, connect these adjustments to your aspirations using deliberate practice, clear goal-setting, and feedback. ⚖️
✅ Remember Mimi Zweig’s insight: Mistakes are information, not judgment. Each attempt provides data for refinement, not evidence of inadequacy. 👍
Key Takeaways
The Gap is the space between expectation and reality. Every musician experiences it.
Judgement, fear, shame, guilt, confusion, and frustration are natural, but they are not absolute truths.
ACT teaches: Notice, Name, then Choose your response. Feelings don’t need to dictate your actions.
Mistakes are information. Blame the strategy, not the player.
Aspirations inspire, while expectations require effective strategies.
Flow motivators – curiosity, passion, purpose, autonomy, mastery – provide practical questions to fill The Gap with learning instead of self-criticism.
Viktor Frankl reminds us: “Between stimulus and response lies your power to choose, and in that choice lies growth and freedom.”
The Gap is where learning begins, where mistakes turn into insight, and where practice truly becomes progress.
References
de Bruin, L. R. (2023). Feedback in the instrumental music lesson: A qualitative study. Psychology of Music, 51(4), 1259-1274.
Dweck, C. (2012). Mindset: Changing the way you think to fulfil your potential. Hachette UK.
Ericsson, K. A., Krampe, R. T., & Tesch-Römer, C. (1993). The role of deliberate practice in the acquisition of expert performance. Psychological Review, 100(3), 363–406.
Frankl, V. E. (1985). Man's search for meaning. Simon and Schuster.
Juncos, D. G., & e Pona, E. D. P. (2022). ACT for musicians: A guide for using acceptance and commitment training to enhance performance, overcome performance anxiety, and improve well-being. Universal-Publishers.
Khattab, N. (2015). Students' aspirations, expectation and school achievement: What really matters? British Educational Research Journal, 41(5), 731–748.
Kotler, S. (2014). What is Flow State? Big Think Interview. https://bigthink.com/series/the-big-think-interview/what-is-flow-state/
Sadler, D. R. (1989). Formative assessment and the design of instructional systems. Instructional science, 18(2), 119-144.
Zimmerman, B. J. (2002). Becoming a self-regulated learner: An overview. Theory Into Practice, 41(2), 64–70.